Posted 6/11/23
Have you ever been in a conversation with someone (specifically a donor or prospect in this case), and had the feeling that you were not making a connection? Something is wrong and you feel as though the prospect/donor does not understand you or makes any kind of acknowledgement to what you are saying. You keep talking and so does the donor in order to get the points across. It has happened to me on several occasions and I became frustrated and upset with myself for letting the conversation continue going nowhere without doing something!
I discovered when meeting one-on-one with a prospect or donor, that both of you have an agenda that each would like to get across. It is very important to both parties. So important that both keep talking in order to hopefully get the other person to understand. It feels like you are spinning your wheels, and most likely, your prospect is also feeling it. When this happens, there can be a tendency to talk louder, look for an opening or pause to jump in with your information, especially when you are feeling the pressure to raise funds or develop a productive relationship. Sometimes it just happens.
It may sound counter-intuitive when you find yourself in this frustrating situation, and can be difficult to catch yourself as you are trying to make a connection. When I find myself in this trap, and human nature tells me to keep trying to get my point across, I step back and consciously try to catch myself by doing the opposite. I stop talking!
It is amazing how the relationship changes when you stop talking and just listen. More times than not, the information you need to connect with the individual comes out as they will tell you what is important to them. Yes, there could be a fear of losing them if you do not say something that gains their attention, but if you stop and let them, they will quite often tell you what you need in order to engage, or allow you to ask questions that you would like to know. In my experience, the fear of losing them rarely becomes reality when you stop talking, in fact, your listening shows value and respect for the prospect which can only help the relationship.
It may seem strange, but when you feel as though a conversation with a donor or prospect is going nowhere, try doing the opposite and stop talking. It worked quite often for me.
Photo: www.pexels.com “Nappy”