Posted 3/20/22
Do you remember prior to the pandemic, when the multiple “talking heads in a box” appeared on newscasts and talk shows? It was a “new thing” to interview several people at once. The big problem developed when everyone wanted to get their message out and cared little for what the other person was saying. It drove me crazy! I couldn’t find the tv remote fast enough. It was a circus of 4, 6, 8 or more people all talking at the same time, bound and determined to be heard, one louder than the next, with no regard for listening, and it slowly seeped into the American culture. If it wasn’t so pathetic, it would actually be somewhat comical.
So why is this topic in this blog? Because this can easily happen in a donor/prospect meeting as well. I have, as a fundraiser and salesperson, on occasion, met with a prospect who continually talked about him/herself, and I fell into the trap of trying to be heard, looking for an opening, so that I could deliver my message. It was a futile effort and problematic approach to the situation. Here is what I discovered.
Unless the prospect is overly self-centered, which can happen, and neither party feels as though they are being heard, there is a tendency to talk louder and continue to deliver their message. It is common for a fundraiser who carries the pressure to raise funds, to feel a strong need to be heard. What I have found in this situation, is to find the self-discipline in yourself to switch the strategy and start listening. This can be difficult because of the pressures of time constraints on the meeting, Being quiet and listening, maybe nodding your head in acknowledgement, again unless the prospect is self-centered, often times results in he or she coming to the realization that they are dominating the conversation and, in my experience, say something like “Oh, I’m talking too much, what did you want to see me about?” You then have their attention. It requires significant patience and in some cases, appreciation for listening. Listening without saying much, will often bring the results you need as a fundraiser, even if you have the impulse to break in to the conversation. In my opinion, it is worth a try.
Photo by Anna Shvets (www.pexels.com)