Posted 11/12/21
(This is another example where the therapeutic relationship and the fundraising relationship share a similarity. The bottom line however is to remember to be yourself in either type of relationship).
There was an interesting dynamic that I was taught as a student therapist. With a strong motivation to help the client, therapists can fall into a trap of misinterpreting an expressed problem or concern, unintentionally sending the conversation on an irrelevant tangent. Even with significant listening and patience by the therapist in allowing the client to express him/herself, the real source of the psychological discomfort can still be missed or incorrectly identified. The result is often a waste of valuable time, becoming a source of frustration for the client. That was a scary thought for a therapist-in-training, due to the embarrassment of looking like an inexperienced novice.
When that type of mistake surfaced during role playing of a therapy session, the professor would stop it in order to address this common issue. Rather than panicking and feeling unprofessional because the client appears frustrated or uncomfortable, the good news is that it is human nature for the client to bring the missed issue up again because it is still bothering him/her. It sounds strange but if you fail to acknowledge the client’s discomfort the first time it is presented, it will often come back around, providing the therapist with another opportunity to correct the mistake and get the conversation back on track. It is not always a conscious act, but the client wants to feel better through being understood, and it is human nature to try more than once to address the discomfort in the hopes of feeling better.
Surprisingly, I noticed that donors often react in a similar fashion. A prospective donor might express a hesitancy or objection regarding the charity or some other problem, and a successful fundraiser needs to correctly identify the discomfort in order to work through the problem and restore a trusting relationship. If the fundraiser misses it the first time, the prospect will often try again. Ideally it would be best to identify the client’s issues the first time, but it is not necessarily a deal breaker if you miss it, there is a good chance you will get another opportunity. You might sense a frustration in the prospect, but that should not create a panic or nervousness, it should trigger your listening skills in order understand better, and regain a productive conversation. With calm patience, disciplined listening, and clarifying questions, you can win back the prospect’s trust and work to remedy the actual hesitancies or objections. If you remain patient, you often get another chance to make it right.
The prospect’s issues can run the gamut, from use of funds, to overhead, impact of services, who is receiving assistance, and more. The key is to address it when it comes up, but if the donor appears frustrated or attention seems to be drifting, it often indicates that there still is a problem needing to be addressed. You will typically get another chance or two, however after a few tries, there is the tendency for the prospect to give up. If you notice these symptoms, it typically indicates that the concerns have not been satisfied, but remember not to panic as you will typically get another chance.